I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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