kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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