I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
