Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize