When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
only you would photoshop your dick
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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