Those balls look pretty dangerous.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
