I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
