I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
