My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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