Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
In America we eat man semen.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
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What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
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I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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