guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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