I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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