Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
All I want is dick and wine.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
