There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize