North Korea, Best Korea!
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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