Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
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I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
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just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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