I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize