Need sex. Gaining weight.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
