This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
