I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
