True but thats because hes a fetus.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
