the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
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