Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
