I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
