I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
