I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
