Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
