bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
