so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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