He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I wish you could order shots online.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
