but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
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He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
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Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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