Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
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