A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
