made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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