I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
