i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
