She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
