Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
