I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
My pussy is not your playground.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
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We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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