Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I need to align my fucking chakras
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
