idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
he was CRYING into my vagina
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
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I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
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i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
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