He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
My balls are so social today.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
