i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
