I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
they need to just BURY HIM!
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
