I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
