The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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