You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
