He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I just forgot I was standing up.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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