dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
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He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
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i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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