why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
