garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
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