STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize