Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
