Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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