Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
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