return my video game
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Four minutes until I can fart!
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
