living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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