I just made out with a guy for $7.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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