Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
