whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
