Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize
