Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
