Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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