can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
