we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
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