Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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