we have pet lesbian snakes
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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