Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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