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My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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