planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Randomize
