The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
