I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
