In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
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I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
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I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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