i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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