it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
