Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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